I'm All Alone There Are Only Ghosts Beside Me
by Em Pataki
Summary: Homer feels the secret to a successful love life would be by watching scary movies. Bart is no longer the toughest kid in school. Lisa now knows what it's like to be socially accepted.
1. Chapter 1

**MY FIRST NON-HEY ARNOLD FANFICTION! I ACTUALLY WROTE THIS A COUPLE YEARS AGO, BUT IT WAS IN SCRIPT FORMAT. HOPE YOU ENJOY :)**

Chapter 1: Awesome Answers

 _Playground_

It was the beginning of the week and Bart was spending his recess with Milhouse, hoping to sell a special project the two of them had been working on.

"I don't know Bart. Last time you tried this, Skinner made you scrub toilets with Willie for a month."

Bart stood atop the jungle gym with his friend as he smiled and said "Yes, and you did a great job filling in for me."

The perky boy's eyes lit with gratitude as he blushed "Aww gee! What are friends for?"

"Milhouse. By the time recess is over, we'll have not only enough money for that new Radioactive Man comic, but enough left over for a trip to Krusty Burger."

Although Milhouse was the skeptical type, Bart's creativity never ceased to amaze him. "You're a genius Bart!"

He then watched as his troublemaking friend held up a large stack of papers and shouted to the school kids "EXTRA! EXTRA! Next week's test answers! English! Math! Science! All right here people!"

After eyeing the field, Bart noticed a kid sitting alone on a bench and asked "Hey, who's the self-loathing dork?"

Milhouse bluntly replied "I'm right behind you." Surely Bart had learned what little self esteem he possessed by that point.

"I meant the one on the bench."

Looking across the field, Milhouse shrugged his shoulders, not being familiar either with the face.

The two friends hopped off the jungle gym and began heading towards the new student with their stack of papers. Bart looked at the depressed boy sighing at the ground and said "Hey kid! You don't want to miss out on buying a copy of 'Bart Simpson's Awesome Answers.' Standard price is $10, but I'm going to give you the guaranteed set of A's and sell it to you for $20!"

The boy looked up at who he assumed was attempting to be his friend and said "That's very kind of you, but I don't have any money."

Bart wasn't one to blow an opportunity to make a profit as he replied "I'm a nice guy, just give me something valuable, like an iPhone. It's gotta be a 6 or better though."

Staring with the same sad eyes, the lonely student replied "Whenever I get something nice, my mom makes me give it to charity."

Milhouse walked up behind Bart, having listened to the conversation. Damian was beginning to remind him of himself. "I know the feeling."

After seeing he wasn't going to make a profit, Bart turned around and whispered "We've got another Milhouse on our hands."

"What do we do?"

A tempting smile formed on the prankster's face as he replied "Let's keep him. It'll be good to have a scapegoat in case Skinner does get wise to my plan."

A wide smile grew on the geeky boy's face after hearing the suggestion. "Alright! I'm not the scapegoat!"

The boys then turned to face the sad student as Bart said "Because I'm the nicest guy in school, I'm going to let you hang with us."

Standing from the bench to shake Bart's hand, he smiled "Thanks! I'm Damian!"

As Bart and Milhouse led their new friend around the playground to sell the fake answers with them, Lisa was watching nearby from another bench.

Sighing sadly to herself, she asked "Why does life have to be so complicated? People like Bart lacking any intelligence excel in socialism, while others like me fall further away from people with every bit of knowledge that's gained."

 _Band Room_

The students were sitting with their instruments, waiting to start practice. Mr. Largo entered the room as he said to them "Alright class, we still haven't perfected the Star Spangled Banner. I won't say the school blames us for what happened at last week's football game, but we need to get it right! One...two…"

Before the instuctor could finish, he looked to see one of his students already getting started on her own version of the song.

"Lisa please! Are you _trying_ to make us look bad?!"

Not seeing what the big deal was, the intelligent girl shrugged her shoulders and replied "Maybe a new melody is what the song needs. Sometimes it's good to be different; if people would just be more welcoming to the idea."

Mr. Largo glared at her attempt to change the tune and scowled "Not with music, and not in here!

 _Bus Ride_

Once school ended, the kids were on their usual bus ride home. Bart and Milhouse sat in the back with their new friend, gloating over the stack of money their stack of fake test answers had easily turned into.

"Check it out boys. Easiest $150 I ever made!"

"Even easier than when you sold tickets to watch your dad try to remove his hand after you glued it to his face?" Milhouse asked in bewilderment.

The proud prankster nodded his head in agreement and said "Way easier."

Damian, who was taking in everything he was learning from his two new friends, gasped "Cheating on tests and playing pranks? That seems so evil! I couldn't imagine doing something like that!"

Bart wrapped his arm around what he considered to be his new student and said "Damian my friend, two lessons you'll learn hanging out with me: The best kind of fun comes from hurting someone; What they don't see, won't hurt me."

Milhouse moped at the response as he added "The second one never works out in my favor. That's the price you pay for always taking the blame for something."

 _Walk_

When the bus made it to it's stop, the boys headed for the comic store, while Lisa began her lonely walk home. Staring sadly at the sidewalk, she sang to herself…

 _I'm all alone, all by myself. There is no one here beside me._

 _I'm all alone, quite all alone; no one to comfort me or guide me._

 _Why is there no one here with me?_

 _If there were someone here with me, how happy I would be._

 _But I am alone, quite all alone._

"I wonder if anyone ever picked up on Arthur Pendragon's hidden message?"

As she continued walking down the street, Lisa failed to notice a teenager standing nearby.

"Hey, cool saxophone!"

The sad second grader turned towards the intrigued voice as she said "Thanks. I've had it forever."

"So, you in a band?"

A somber expression formed on Lisa's face as she explained "If being criticized daily for freedom of expression counts, then yes."

"You should come and check out mine. We could use a new sax player. Ever since my friend Kate hooked up with the school's head actor, theater has been her new passion."

Lisa's firm frown quickly turned to a smile as she eagerly said "Oh that would be wonderful! I mean, sounds cool."

Not thinking anything of her anxious response, the teen handing Lisa her card and said "Great! My name's Grace by the way. Here's my address (256 Marion Ave).

 _The Android Dungeon_

The boys stood in front of the comic store, anxious to purchase their long awaited item. Bart turned to his _student_ and said "Brace yourself Damian. You've never had a comic before, so don't if shocked if once you go in here, everything else in your life suddenly becomes meaningless."

"The Android Dungeon? Seems like a PG13 rated store?" the skeptical boy couldn't help but point out.

Milhouse's mind remained on what they were about to purchase as he said "I can't wait to touch that comic! It'll be like the first time I held hands with Lisa!

As the boys were entering the store, Damian's eyes profusely searched what he found to be inappropriate merchandise for people their age. "Bleeding Gums Murphey Albums, Mad Magazines, are you sure we don't need an ID to be in here?"

Not caring to acknowledge his concern, Bart led them up to the counter and said to the cashier "We'd like your newest edition of Radioactive Man."

Comic Book Guy sighed at the request and replied "Show me the money before I waste my time getting off my stool to grab it."

After handing over the money, Bart turned to their new friend and proudly said "Damian, you're about to see what phony businesses can accomplish."

Once the store owner returned with their desired item, he handed Bart the comic and sighed "Here you go boys. Now get out of my store."

The three of them quickly raced around the back of the store and into the alley to look at their new item. "We finally got it! Just wait until everyone at school sees this!" Milhouse thought out loud.

Bart proudly held up the comic to their new friend and said "Damian, I present to you, Radioactive Man!"

A moment after staring at it, the seemingly innocent boy took the comic to rip in half.

Bart and Milhouse watched the unbelievable incident occur as they screamed "AHHHHH!"

The boys watched the shredded pieces of their coveted comic fall to the ground in front of them. While Bart stood speechless, Milhouse said "It's finally happened. Radioactive Man's become all Radioactive and no man."

At last finding his words, Bart glared at the destructive kid and said "What the hell man?!"

After shrugging his shoulders, not caring about what he had done, Damian replied "I guess now's as good a time as any to point out, I was a bad ass at my last school."

A stunned look appeared on Bart's face after hearing these words. "Wait, YOU were a troublemaker?"

Pleased with the thought of throwing them off, Damian said "Yeah, well now that you know, I'd sleep with one eye open if I were you."

 _Simpson House_

Whistling as he returned from work, Homer entered the kitchen to see Marge preparing dinner. He kissed his sweet wife on the cheek and listened to her say "Hello sweetie, how was work?"

An eager smile formed as he anxiously replied "Fantastic! Today included my three favorite things: TV, food, and sex!"

 _Discussion At Work During Lunch_

The workers were eating lunch at the power plant while listening to a story Lenny had for the group. "So, I ran into this guy at the Kwik-E-Mart yesterday who was buying some kettle corn for watching a movie with his wife."

"Ha-ha, romance movies, the only thing easier than beer when it comes to putting a woman "in the mood." Homer laughed.

"Yea, but get this. It wasn't a romance movie. He said scary movies turn women on quicker than beer turns Homer on."

 _End of Flashback_

Marge stood listening to the story, wondering where he was going with this, until she heard Homer say "So, I stopped by the video store to ask what film gets women feeling from horrified to horny the quickest, and the cashier said, "The Silence of the Lambs."

The sweet woman hugged her husband tight for his attempt at a romantic gesture and said "You, me and Anthony Hopkins…"

Correcting her, Homer held up the movie he picked out and said "Actually, it'll be you, me and Tobin Bell. They only had Saw IV."

After shrugging at the idea, Marge called out "Kid's dinner's ready!"

 _Dining Room_

The family began taking their seats at the table in front of the lovely meal Marge had prepared for them. Homer eagerly eyed his plate and said "Mmmm pork chops; the perfect way to set the mood for what's sure to be a promising night."

Lisa raced in, not caring she bumped her brother on the way to the table.

"Hey, watch it man!"

Feeling he was over-reacting, Lisa asked "What are you so uptight about?"

Bart sorrowfully took his seat as he moped "There's this new kid at school. At first he seemed like a wimp, then we found out he's just another Nelson."

After listening to his son's problem, Homer didn't hesitate to give his advice on the matter "Boy, you're going to run into all kinds of people in your life. First there are stupid people like that Milhouse kid you're always hanging out with. They might be good for a laugh, but their stream of annoyances tends to outweigh their use. Then you got your crazy people like that Sideshow Bob character who will obsess over anything and never quit. Finally, there are some people who are just plain jerks for no reason…. I'd stick with the crazy people. Life's more fun when you're always on the run."

After listening to the senseless advice her husband gave to their troubled son, Marge turned her head and asked " Hmmm how was your day Lisa?"

A smile remained on the young girl's face while she began to explain "On my way home from school I met this girl named Grace. She invited me to check out her band tomorrow!"

"That's wonderful sweetie!"

Having heard what his daughter said, Homer felt he may be helping by adding one more bit of information to his speech. "Oh and then there are cool people who have no flaws, like that Grace girl and me."

 _Homer's Bedroom_

Preparing for the movie, Homer went through his checklist. "Let's see, I got mood setters (popcorn and candy), what's sure to be a successful love level tester (Saw IV), and as always in any situation, my back up plan (6 pack of Duff beer)."

Marge then entered the room. Standing in the entrance of the bathroom in her silk nightshirt, she listened to her husband ask "Ready to have the pants scared literally off you?"

The intrigued lady gave a flirtatious look as she replied "Hit me with your scariest!"

 _Jigsaw: I want to play a game. You just lean forward into the knives with your face. Press hard enough and you'll release the arm and the leg restraints that bind you. Press hard though. Live or die, Cecil. Make your choice._

Marge was soon regretting those words as she watched the film with terror in her eyes.

Not noticing the uncomfortable state she was in, Homer leaned close to whisper to his wife "Press Hard!" Talk about romance!

"AHH!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: What Should I Tell Him?

 _The Kitchen_

It was Saturday morning. Marge was doing the dishes, gritting her teeth at the memory of the horrific film she had watched the previous night. Her mind was so focused on it, she didn't notice her husband entering the room.

"Morning honey!"

The plate slipped out of Marge's hands as she screamed "AHH!"

Not noticing her fearful state, Homer asked "Great movie last night, huh?"

"Well…"

 _Flashback_

Marge thinks back to Homer smiling at the T.V and sipping beer, while she is shaking and holding him tight

 _Jigsaw:_ _You think it's over just because I am dead. It's not over. The games have just begun._

HOMER: Ha-ha… just gets more romantic.

 _End of Flashback_

 _Kitchen_

Bart and listen began to walk through the room as they listened to Marge ask "Where are you kids off to?"

After hearing the question, Lisa didn't hesitate to reply "It's Saturday, so I'm taking my saxophone over to Grace's place. Finally, I'll be playing with someone who won't be objective to the idea that music should be about freedom of expression."

Knowing Bart was never up to any good, Homer turned towards his son and said "What about you boy?"

"Milhouse and I taped together what we could of our comic. Now we're going to stand behind the comic book store and see how many people we can get to pay for a glimpse of it."

 _Grace's Home_

Lisa arrived with her saxophone at a house the size of Mr. Burns'. "Oh! This place is amazing!"

After ringing the doorbell, Grace quickly answered it to see her new friend waiting to start practice. "Lisa! Great to see you! Come meet the rest of the group."

The ecstatic teen began leading her new friend inside as she explained "I'm so glad we met. Without a sax player, the group's pulled away from Jazz and been more focused on Rock than anything."

While following Grace, Lisa continued to look around and said "You've got a great place here!"

Before approaching the band room, the girls ran into Grace's older brother who appeared to be on the phone.

"I don't care how long they have to tie themselves to those trees! Don't let those people put another shopping mall up!"

Grace happily introduced her new friend to her older sibling after his phone call ended. "Lisa, this is my brother Bruce. He's an environmentalist."

Bruce reached out his hand to shake Lisa's as he said "Pleased to meet you Lisa. Do you have a brother?"

A nervous look formed on her face, not wanting to mention Bart's bad behavior. "Of course…He's also an environmentalist."

Finding that to be a substantial coincidence, Bruce asked "Really? What kind of work does he do?"

The nervous girl began rubbing her neck nervously as she stuttered "Oh, the same as you I'm sure. You know, saving trees, stopping malls, that sort of thing. Right now his biggest concern is paper."

 _The Android Dungeon_

Standing outside the store, the boys held what they were able to tape together of their shredded comic.

"Okay Milhouse, hopefully we can get enough people to be interested in seeing it."

Not feeling confident about the plan, the geeky boy asked "What if they want their money back? You can barely read it!"

"That's why I made this 'No Refunds' sign."

Milhouse then watched his friend hold their poorly assembled comic up and listened to him say "Here it is, the new Radioactive Man! Get a peak on sale while you still can!"

While Bart was attempting to advertise their ruined product, he noticed an unwelcome acquaintance approaching.

"Oh man, what's he doing here?"

Noticing Damian as well, Milhouse said "Don't worry, he can't ruin it much more than it already is."

The devious boy stepped up to the store and asked "Hey guys. How's it going?"

Finding it odd for him to act so friendly, Bart asked "What do you want?"

With an innocent look on his face, Damian replied "I just came to apologize. I was having a bad day. We had to put my dog down that I'd had forever, but didn't have the money to save. Then, seeing you with your money just put me over the edge."

While an unamused look remained on Bart's face, a sympathetic expression on appeared on Milhouse's as he said "That poor dog!"

Feeling he had said all he needed to, Damian waved goodbye "Yeah, well I'll see you at school."

After seeing him disappear around the store, Milhouse said to Bart "I guess we misjudged him."

A scowl remained on Bart's face as he replied "He's still got some serious kissing up to do as far as I'm concerned."

Moments later, the boys looked to see Damian returning with Comic Book Guy.

"There they are, the kids who are trying to undersell you!"

The uptight businessman snatched the earned money from Bart and snapped "Not on my property!"

Not understanding any of this, Bart asked in a frustrating tone "What is your problem man?"

As he was about to leave, Damian felt the need to point out "Hey, you're the one who said it's cool to hurt people."

"Yeah, but there's a difference between being a badass to look cool and being a jackass for no reason."

"Eh, whatever hurts someone works for me."

 _Grace's Band Room_

After hiding the truth about her family, Lisa followed Grace into the band room to meet the rest of her friends. "Here's the band room, and of course the band. This is Tommy, he's our keyboard player. Chris, He's our drummer. Chuck, Our trumpet player. And me, our electric guitar player. We're 'The Clean Slates.'"

Lisa waved at her new group of friends as they anxiously began discussing what this would mean for them.

"All right! Now there's nothing stopping us from playing Lush Life!" Chris shouted.

Shaking his head at the thought, Tommy sighed "I keep telling you Fever is better."

Disagreeing with them both, Chuck added "Then why was Billie Holiday's Strange Fruit listed as number one on 50 Greatest Jazz Hits?"

After seeing the usual rantings already taking place, Grace turned to Lisa and whispered "It can get pretty confrontational in here before deciding on what to play."

Having a thought come to her mind, Lisa said "You know Bleeding Gums Murphy has some great hits."

 _Bart's Bedroom_

"We've got to think of a way to get back at Damian."

Not finding it to be likely, Milhouse asked "But how? We don't know anything about him, except that he may be bipolar."

"He tricks us by pretending to be nice, so maybe we can trick him into falling for something if we act nice."

An eager thought came to the unpopular boy's mind as he suggested "We could say his dog came back to life!"

After rolling his eyes at the thought, Bart said "We'll make that plan B."

 _Grace's Band Room_

After an afternoon spent of playing Bleeding Gums Murphey music, Tommy said "Great music Lisa."

Agreeing with his friend, Chris added "Yeah, this music will kill at the concert tomorrow!"

A perplexed look formed on Lisa's face as she asked "Concert?"

"My brother's passion for environmental work inspired me to find a way for the band to contribute. Every year our band plays at the Springfield Jazz Fest, where we help promote the idea of saving the environment." Grace explained.

"We were thinking of dropping out without a sax player." Chris said.

"Not to mention having trouble agreeing on a song." Chuck added.

With nothing seeming to be standing in the way now, Tommy excitedly shouted "With a new player and a new song, there's no stopping us!"

"So, what do you say Lisa, you interested?" Grace hoped.

The intelligent girl anxiously replied "You bet!"

"Great! Our band's contribution to encourage saving the environment means more this year than it ever has." Grace informed her.

"Why is that?"

"Every year Springfield Jazz Fest takes place at Springfield Forest, but the city wants to tear down the trees and put a mall up instead."

Lisa's eyes widened at Grace's story as she gasped "That's terrible!"

Agreeing with them, Tommy stepped in to say "Yeah, but with our sweet lyrics that will persuade people to save the location, and Bruce's support team, 'The Tree Huggers', that will stop the construction crew from knocking down the trees, we can't lose!"

After hearing their issue, Lisa couldn't help making a suggestion. "While I love the idea of sending an important message through music, there is another way to save the forest."

The band stared blankly unaware of the option until Lisa at last added "Start a petition! Pass it around at the Jazz Fest and get everyone you know to sign it."

Grace placed a hand on her new friend's shoulder and said "Awesome Lisa!"

"That mall is going down!" Chuck said excitedly.

Giving his friend a dull look, Chris pointed out "It's not even up yet man."

"Oh yea…"

 _Later That Night_

 _Bart's Bedroom_

List was on her way to bed when she walked by Bart's bedroom. She entered to see Bart working on a list of revenge ideas. "What's going on?"

Bart excitedly stood from his bed as he said to his sister "I think I found a way to get back at Damian. What's the one thing no one can resist?"

Shrugging her shoulders, Lisa guessed "Social acceptance?"

"TOTAL CONTROL! If I can appear weak to Damian, the last thing he'll be suspecting is that for once, HE is the victim of someone's prank."

Sighing at her brother's useless activity, Lisa muttered "Hmm good night."

 _Homer's Bedroom_

Marge was on edge making the bed when Homer entered from behind. "Well Marge, ready for another exhilarating night?"

A nervous look formed on her face as she replied "Listen Homer, about the movie."

"I know! Wasn't it great?"

Tapping her fingers nervously, Marge began to explain "I think there may be a point reached for how scary a movie can be for it to turn you on."

Not caring to notice his wife's jittery behavior, Homer added "Yeah, you're probebly right...which is why I bought Saw V!"

"AHH!"

 _Jigsaw: Vengeance changes a person. It can make them realize what they are capable of._

While Marge hid shivering under the covers, Homer smiled and said "Haha...so true."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Lone Sitter

Marge was in the kitchen dressed for church when she heard Homer entering behind her. "Well honey I'm off to Moe's"

"What about church?"

Not seeing it as a big deal, Homer explained "I skipped going to the bar last night, so I could watch that heartfelt movie with you. If I don't make up for it soon, I'll miss out on all the gossip."

After confronting Homer, Marge saw her kids enter the room (also not dressed for church).

"Why aren't you kids ready for church?"

"Grace's band needs me for the concert they're having to save Springfield Forest."

After listening to her daughter's legitimate excuse, Marge turned to face Bart and listened to him say "Milhouse and I are working on our plan to get back at Damian."

Patting his wife on the back, Homer said "That's why we have you Marge. You can be the one person to sit through the boring services so that the whole family can get free passes to heaven.

Crossing her arms at his selfish reasoning, Marge scowled "OHH!"

 _Church_

Marge sat alone in the aisle as she listened to Reverend Lovejoy's sermon.

"Today's lesson reminds us that while God wishes us to treat others as we would want to be treated, there is a point reached when He tells us to let our enemies have it!"

Hearing this made her think of the threatening films she had seen the past few days, as she began to slide down in her seat.

"I read to you Deuteronomy 7: 1-2 "When the Lord your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations… **then you must** **destroy them totally. Make no treaty with them and show** **them no mercy!"**

 _Moe's_

Sitting at the bar with his friends, Homer listened to Lenny ask "So Homer, how did Marge like movie night?"

"Just great. I don't think I've ever had her hold me so tight!"

"Yeah, nothing turns a girl on like a romantic movie and a bottle of champagne." Moe added, not knowing it was a horror film.

Filling him in on all the details, Carl added "Nah, Homer took the romance one step further, by showing Marge a scary movie to shake things up."

"And it worked perfectly."

Lenny smiled at the memory of the movie he suggested and said "That Anthony Hopkins really knows how to win a girl over."

"Actually, they didn't have "Silence of the Lambs," so I had to go with "Saw IV and V"

Finding it suspicious, Carl asked "Marge was turned on by stabbings, blood gushing, and haunting deadly threats?"

"Oh yeah, I've never felt so close to her."

Leaning over the bar towards his customers, Moe snapped "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! If you really want to turn a girl on with terror, show her 'The Exorcist!' Guy practically lived in here for two weeks after he watched it, 'cause he was too scared to go to sleep!"

Homer's eyes lit with anticipation as he replied "Wow… it'll be like a second honeymoon for us!"

 _Springfield Forest_

 _Jazz Fest_

Eyeing the open land, Lisa said excitedly "Wow! I've never come this far out here."

"Yea, my brother and I used to come here when we were little."

"It's beautiful! You guys play here every year?"

A somber look formed on the teen's face as she said "Yea, but that might not continue to happen."

Bruce then arrived where he saw his sister standing with Lisa. "Thanks for your support Lisa. The better the music, the longer the guys will be able to stand being tied to those trees."

Still impressed by the activity, Lisa asked "Do they volunteer for this every time you need to save a location?"

"They all volunteer, but for different reasons. Half are just as concerned about saving the land as we are. The other half is suicidal."

Unsure of what to say, Lisa rubbed her neck and muttered "Uh huh…"

Turning towards the band, Grace asked "So, you guys ready to rock?!"

"WAHOO!"

 _Stage_

The pronouncer stood on stage in front of the crowd preparing to introduce the band. "Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for…The Clean Slates!"

Grace then stepped up to give a brief announcement before beginning the music. "Hey everyone, before we start, I want to give a shout out to our inspirational group… The Tree Huggers! So if you like saving land as much as this band, grab a rope and promote our hope. And a one… a two… a one, two, three!"

" _Well I know this pretty place…_

 _That means the world to me._

28.

 _Spent my best days in this space…_

 _Now my happiness can't be."_

(Tommy with a keyboard solo)

" _To tear down this special part_

 _Replaced with modernity_

 _Would take a piece of my heart_

 _For all of eternity."_

 _(_ Lisa with a saxophone solo)

" _Springfield Forest is the best place that I know…_

 _Springfield Forest, where the trees will always grow!_

 _Springfield Forest, we'll never let you go…_

 _Springfield Forest, the best place for a show!"_

(Chuck with a trumpet solo)

" _We will not surrender…_

 _We will not back out._

 _Bring on the contender…_

 _We'll win without a doubt!"_

(Chris with a drum solo)

" _The trees will stand tall…_

 _The land will stay clear._

 _The workers will fall…_

 _We'll stay with no fear!"_

(Whole band plays)

29.

" _Springfield Forest is the best place that I know…_

 _Springfield Forest, where the trees will always grow!_

 _Springfield Forest, we'll never let you go…_

 _Springfield Forest, the best place for a show!"_

After listening to the crowd's loud applause, the band left the stage to hear Bruce say "Check it out guys, over 200 signatures!"

"See what a little contribution from others added to your own hard work can accomplish?" Lisa pointed out.

Bruce informed them "Yea, we even got The Tree Huggers to sign while you were playing."

"How did you manage that?" the skeptical girl asked, before turning to see The Tree Huggers signing with a pencil in their mouths.

Looking down at the signatures, Grace said "Well, this is more than we ever could have hoped for. Thanks Lisa!"

 _Bart's Room_

Sitting in his room with his friend, Bart said "Okay Milhouse, there's only one way we're going to be able to get back at this kid."

"Tell his mom?"

"No…"

"How?"

With an evil smile on his face, Bart said "Let's just say, Damian's going to be sorry he didn't buy a copy of Bart Simpson's 'Awesome Answers.'"

"Are those answers really correct?"

"Wait and find out on the tests tomorrow."

Staring sadly at the floor, Milhouse sighed "I'm not getting my money back am I?"

:

 _Video Store_

Homer was searching for The Exorcist when he ran into a familiar face.

"Homer, great to see you neighbor! Picking out a video for the old family?"

"Actually, it's for me and Marge".

Ned's eyes lit with excitement as he said "Oh even better! Nothing like spending time with your wife-diddly-ife!"

"Yea, these scary movies have really been doing the trick. I may use them to turn our romance time into family time. You ever watch scary films with your family?"

"Oh no sirrey! The boys aren't allowed to watch those until they graduate from college!"

"Ned, maybe someday you'll wise up and get a life… a scary life!"

"Ha-ha, oh Homer… the only life anyone needs is one that's filled with joy and doing good deeds!"

Rolling his eyes at his overly enthusiastic neighbor, Homer replied "Yea… I got to go."

Not taking notice of his neighbor's lack of interest in him, Ned eagerly waved "Good luck with the movie friend!"

"Stupid Flanders."

 _Later That Evening_

 _The Kitchen_

Marge was nervously preparing dinner when she heard "Honey I'm home!"

"AHH!"

Not caring for once about the food, Homer began to explain "I've been thinking about those movies we watched, and I realized I may have been going the wrong way with the romance. For that reason, no more Saw movies."

Marge sighed with relief at the news as she replied "Oh thank goodness!"

The eager man then pulled out the new film and added "Instead of face stabbings, say hello to demonic possessions. I present to you… The Exorcist!"

The fearful expression returned to Marge's face as she nervously gulped "Homer, I have to tell you something…"

Shushing his wife, Homer said "Uh-uh-uh… don't spoil the movie."

"Hmmm… kids dinner!"

 _Dining Room_

Eyeing the tasty meal, Homer said "Great looking dinner sweetie. My stomach's possession of this food is a great preview for the demon's possession of that girl."

Doing her best not to think about the movies, Marge asked "Hmmm how was your day you two?"

A smile lit up Lisa's face as she replied "Great! The band's performance was a huge hit! We received over 200 signatures for our petition to save the forest!"

Marge patted her daughter on the back and excitedly said "That's wonderful sweetie!"

"Yea, it feels great to be accepted while knowing you're making a difference in the world."

After hearing about her daughter's successful day, Marge turned to her son and asked "How was your day Bart?"

Feeling optimistic again, Bart replied "Milhouse and I have been coming up with a plan to get back at Damian… tomorrow he's going down!"

Listening in on the conversation, Homer smiled at the thought and added "Good for you boy. There's nothing sweeter than revenge! That and doughnut day at work."

 _Bart's Bedroom_

Lisa was walking down the hall when she heard Bart singing to himself in his room...

*Do-do-do-do-do*

Entering the room, Lisa couldn't help but ask "By the way Bart, what exactly are you planning on doing to Damian?"

Smiling innocently, Bart said "Lis', all you need to know is a lesson will be learned through no physical violence."

Crossing her arms at the sad excuse, Lisa asked "What kind of lesson?"

"One that involves my best three schemes: cruelty, framing, and vengeance."

Not being one for violence, Lisa replied "Sounds to me like this kid has some deep, psychological issues. Have you thought about talking things over with him?"

An awkward silence occurred until Bart at last decided to continue on with his plan "So tomorrow we're going to walk up to Damian…"

After rolling her eyes at her brother's inability to think rationally, Lisa turned to leave and sighed "UHH Good night."

 _Homer's Bedroom_

Homer walked in with the movie to find Marge shaking on the bed.

Taking a seat beside his nervous wife, Homer said "Well sweetie, tonight's romance picture is going to make the other's look like first base films. I got the popcorn for you to feed me, the sexy underwear for you to wear for me, and of course… the movie to scare them right off of you for me ha-ha."

Carefully getting off the bed, Marge crept away and said "Why don't you get started while I go change? Watch as much as you want without me."

"Okay, but hurry. This popcorn's not going to feed itself to me!"

 _Demon: What an excellent day for an exorcism._

 _Father Damien Karras: You would like that?_

 _Demon: Intensely._

 _Father Damien Karras: But wouldn't that drive you out of Regan?_

 _Demon: It would bring us together._

 _Father Damien Karras: You and Regan?_

 _Demon: You and us._

Laughing at the words, Homer called out to his wife who was shaking in the bathroom "It's almost like there's a movie demon that keeps bringing us closer together… right honey?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: 3D TV

 _Kitchen_

"Well Marge, I'm off to work. I'll be using the memories of all the vengeful, possessive and demonic romance we shared this weekend to drown out the boredom of my schedule."

"Oh yea, I'll be doing the same…"

After kissing his wife goodbye, the kids entered the kitchen.

"Here are your lunches kids."

Not taking an interest in it, Bart said "The only thing I'm hungry for is revenge."

Rolling her eyes at his vindictive attitude, Lisa said "Oh Bart, if you're not willing to have a lucid conversation with him, the least you can do is NOT stoop to his level."

"And if you're not willing to help, the least YOU can do is stay out of it."

"Hmm point taken."

 _Nuclear Power Plant_

 _Water Cooler_

"So last night I ran into this hot chick who just happened to be a Buddhist." Lenny said to Carl.

"Oh did you ask her out?"

"Well, I…"

Before finishing the story, Lenny and Carl looked over to see Homer racing towards them. "GUYS! GUYS! Marge LOVED The Exorcist!"

Lenny smiled at his friend's success with the horror movies and replied "Way to go!"

"Yea, that's great Homer!"

After receiving a thumbs up from his friends, Homer began to explain "Yea, you know for a while there I was worried we weren't spending enough time together. She does all the cooking, I handle all the drinking, but there was never an activity we could share… until now."

 _Springfield Elementery_

 _The Playground_

Anxious to get things moving, Bart asked "All right Milhouse, you know the plan."

"You really think it'll work?"

Sure of himself, Bart replied "That kid claims to be a bully, and if there's one thing a bully can't resist, it's to cheat on a test… now go!"

Following Bart's orders, Milhouse went to approach Martin who he saw sitting on the bench.

Martin looked over to see his classmate reading and asked "What's that you're reading?"

"Oh just a copy of this week's test answers, that Damian was nice enough to give me."

Being the do-gooder that he was, Martin stood and said "As class president, I have no choice but to report this matter to Principal Skinner."

Milhouse then gave Bart a thumbs up as Martin walked off. The class prankster nodded his head and began to approach Damian.

How's it going Damian?

With an evil grin on his face, Damian laughed "Not bad, how's the comic business? Ha-ha"

Smiling with his hands behind his back, Bart nodded "Oh yea good one…I just came over to say no hard feelings."

"Or in your case shredded feelings."

"Right, and to show you I mean it, I'm going to give you that copy of my 'Awesome Answers' that I should have given to you for free before."

"Heck yea you should have!" Damian snapped, not hesitating to snatch the paper Bart pulled out from behind his back.

"Well enjoy."

After handing over the paper, Bart began walking away as Martin and Principal Skinner approached Damian.

"There he is Principal Skinner! With his stack of who knows how much plagiaristic information!"

With a frown on his face, Skinner eagerly grabbed Damian and snapped "All right young man, you're coming with me."

A perplexed look grew on the troublemaker's face as he insisted "What? But I didn't do anything!"

Not believing him, Skinner said "Now, now, save your lies for Teacher Appreciation Day."

Bart and Milhouse watched as Principal Skinner took Damian away "And that's how it's done Milhouse."

"Maybe. I still think we should have bought him a puppy."

 _Bus Stop_

Lisa was walking home when she came across Grace. "Lisa!"

"Grace! Did you send in the petition?"

"Yes, but it could be a month before we hear from them."

A concerned look appeared on Lisa's face as she asked "Oh…The Tree Huggers aren't planning on staying tied down for that long are they?"

"Only the suicidal ones." Grace shrugged her shoulders, not finding it to be unusual.

"Oh dear."

"I just wanted to thank you Lisa. We never would have been able to perpetuate this much for saving the environment if it wasn't for you."

Amazed at the information, Lisa asked "Really?"

Nodding at the question, Grace said "You truly are a great friend."

 _The Simpsons_

 _Kitchen_

Marge was sitting and shaking at the kitchen table with fear in her eyes. Holding her coffee close to her, she was preparing to take a sip when she heard "I'm home sweetie!"

The drink spilled on the floor as Marge screamed "AHH!"

"Couldn't wait to see me huh? Guess what else couldn't wait to see us. These new 3d glasses I got for each of us!" Homer proudly showed his wife.

Staring at the new merchandise, Marge cautiously asked "Where and why did you get those?"

 _Flashback_

 _Kwik-E-Mart_

"Good afternoon Mr. Homer." Apu greeted his loyal customer.

"Hey Apu, just give me this 6 pack of Duff and 10 lottery tickets. One liberty bell (gasp), two liberty bells (gasp), d'oh!"

Seeing the disappointed look on his customer's face, Apu asked "If I may ask Mr. Homer, what would you do if you won the lottery?"

"Well, Marge and I have really been hitting it off with scary movies lately. Maybe I'd pay someone to film one at our place… or let me be in one!"

"Mr. Homer, if virtual terror is what you seek, might I suggest you buy these 3d glasses? Buy them while they're on sale now for only $29.99."

 _End of Flashback_

 _Kitchen_

Looking at his worried wife, Homer went on to say "I know how much you loved those movies, so I'm going to let you pick which gets to have the honor of being viewed by us first through these babies!"

"Umm… why don't we talk about it later? I think the kids just walked in." Marge eagerly left the room.

Seeing her race out, Homer replied "Great way to build suspense sweetie!"

 _Front Door_

"Hey kids! How was school?!"

An eager smile grew on Bart's face as he replied "Awesome! Now I know why bad things happen to good people."

Lisa glared as she bluntly said "It's a way of life?"

"No, so good people like me can think of even better ways to get back at others." Bart said excitedly.

"Hmm… well, I'm glad your day went well."

After the kids ran upstairs, Homer walked in wearing the 3d glasses "Wow, with these glasses, it's like the kids are standing right beside me!"

 _Homer's Bedroom_

"Oh baby, screw romantic-comedies. We're going to take romance and horror to a new level tonight… with "Romorror Films!"

Marge entered the bedroom as she asked "Who are you talking to?"

Homer turned to face his wife as he said "Oh, I was talking to the glasses. So Marge, did you pick a film?"

Marge stood staring at Homer holding Saw IV, Saw V, and The Exorcist "Uhhh…"

"I can't blame you for not being able to choose. They were all great."

Rubbing her neck, Marge nervously laughed and said "Oh yea, that's exactly it."

The eager man then pulled out his laptop from under the bed and said "So instead, we'll just test these awesome specs with this set of 1000 horror clips I found on YouTube."

" STOP! STOP! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

Laughing at her reaction, Homer said "Whoa baby, save it for when I hit play!"

"Homer, we have to talk."

"Can I still wear the glasses?"

Grunting at his inability to take things seriously, Marge muttered "Fine."

"Wahoo!"

"Homer, I love spending time with you, but I just can't take those movies. They keep me up at night, so all I want to do is sleep during the day. I can't sleep during the day though, because all I can hear is the evil voices from those horrific scenes playing in my head!"

Homer began to take off the glasses as he listened to his troubled wife.

"I still want us to do things together; I just want us to both be able to enjoy them."

Wrapping his arm around her, Homer said "Marge, we don't have to watch those movies anymore."

"Really?"

"All I need to make my romantic life complete is you."

"Oh Homie!"

After putting the glasses back on, Homer added "You know, you look even sexier in 3d."

 _ **THE END**_

 _ **THANKS FOR READING**_

 _ **PLEASE REVIEW!**_


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